Online is where, at age 19, Lockwood met the man she would marry at age 21. These websites destabilized something inside her, she said they “opened a crack” for her to reevaluate what she had been taught.Īt 38, Lockwood describes herself generationally as “between the books and the ether.” She remembers a time before the internet while still being young enough to immerse herself in it as it was developing - young enough that it could help set her life in motion. These statistics have to be fake because there’s this little dancing-child graphic in the corner of the page or there’s a rose that’s slowly losing its petals. Raised in the Catholic Church, Lockwood spent the early years of her life absorbing her parents’ anti-abortion beliefs and activist language about the “Holocaust of infants.” But when she started visiting anti-abortion activist websites in the aughts, when she was in her early 20s, she was put off by the treacly graphics and coarse design - how could they be serious? These facts can’t be real, she remembers thinking then. The internet deprogrammed Patricia Lockwood. Photo: Pari Dukovic for New York Magazine
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